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by Darren Held

By Sonnjea Blackwell

I have a few bones to pick with a few Held2gether troupe-mates and classmates, and what better place to air dirty laundry than on the internet. I mean, it works for the Kardashians, right? So here goes, with all appropriate credit to Kim, Khloe and whoever the hell the rest of them are.

First of all, I’m a little miffed at Viet. I’ve known him forever. Okay, like almost 2 years, anyway. And we’re very close. Or so I thought. But in all this time, has he ever made me an Honorary Asian? No. Not even when my eyes came out slanted in our NoH8 photo. Not even when I went with him to weird Asian markets to buy a live eel. You think you know someone.

Lisa, my lizard sister and sometime running partner, DID make me an Honorary Asian, with all the rights, responsibilities and privileges associated with being Asian. Well, some of them, anyway. Which brings me to my beef with Lisa: Where exactly is the Ancient Chinese Secret Explanation I was promised upon my Asian conferral? How can I be Asian without knowing the secret? Sheesh.

Next: Andy, Co-Dependent and Neighbor. Andy shares my improv addiction and he gives me wine. So naturally, I’m inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt. In response to my recent insomnia-induced ramblings, Andy suggested I could come over sometime and kill ZOMBIES. FAKE ZOMBIES!!! Of course I said yes. It’s important to kill things that eat brains – this world has enough people walking around without brains as it is, we can’t afford any more. But have we had a zombie-killing-a-thon? Um, no.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest; I feel much better now. I promise to return you to your regularly-scheduled-blogging tomorrow, where I will regale you with tales of how improv can actually help you in your job! That’s even more important than killing zombies.

Oh, and just in case you wanted some useful information today, the Held2gether Intro to Improv Comedy classes starting this coming Saturday and Tuesday in Long Beach are almost full, so register now and then you can go kill a zombie or two.

Darren Held
About Darren Held
Darren is the CEO and Creative Director of Held2gether, Improv for LIfe. He has been teaching and performing improv for 15 years, and has performed with H2g, the Groundlings, UCB and Second City. He loves Moto, red wine, and Madonna.

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